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The Audition Trilogy Part 3

I was asked to go to an audition to play a homeless person (please see previous blog for prep for that audition). I arrived at reception, having been sat in a park at the Elephant & Castle for the previous hour, and waited for the receptionist to notice me. He was deep in conversation with another colleague so I waited....and I waited... and I waited. Eventually, I managed to catch his eye as he looked at me in a rather disapproving manner.

"I'm here for  the audition for the Homeless person. I should be on your electronic register."

Having seemingly assured himself that I wasn't in fact, going to be asking for money, or to use their toilet facilities he relaxed and began chatting away about how he was supposed to be on the One Show that night but he had been up-surged by a bunch of tomatoes so had been invited to sit in the audience instead. 

"Of course I told them where to get off but I'm still going though" he said as he flounced off. I stood and waited for his return.

Once back, he checked the electronic register and after quite a while finally found my name. This was probably no mean feat as the  building was huge and no doubt held an army of names for each department with appointments.  Finally, I was checked in and told to take a seat. After a while, a man joined  me with two children aged 5 and 2 (almost 3). They were also waiting to audition although it was only the five year old that would be taking part. Juan, the Casting Director came along and took us up to what can only be described as an abandoned room. There were a few tables in the middle and a few chairs and that was about it. There was no water to be had anywhere and I had forgotten my bottle of water at home and was now needing some rather desperately. We all sat down and introduced ourselves and Juan asked if we would mind playing a game to see the interaction between the child and myself. The idea was that I would hold a box of chocolates and she had to try everything in her power to get them off  me.  That was the first hurdle - this must have been the only child in the world that didn't like  chocolate so she clearly wasn't really bothered as to whether she won them or not. Her dad suggested that we use a bottle of Fruit Shoot (believe you me, I was nearly drooling over it by this stage). I had to hold the bottle and the little girl had to  try to take it whether in  a physical way or by using dialogue. She was very shy so it was difficult to get any reaction at all. Meanwhile the two year old was having a lovely time and practising all her dance stretches on the chair. I decided to run around the room and see if that would help. Clearly the five year old enjoyed this and much laughter was had by all at her trying to grab the bottle from me. We sat back down and Juan asked for availability dates but you could see that he was doubting whether the little girl would be suitable due to her  shyness. He took them back to reception whilst I waited inside the desolate room with nothing to look at but the blank walls. Juan then reappeared  with a young lad called Ruben who was to play either a cleaner or a mime artist. 

Our first exercise: "Felicity take a part of the room and protect it. Ruben will try to move you because you are in his way and he needs you to leave."

I threw my old raincoat on to the floor, sat down, grabbed my bag and began to beg to invisible passerbys. Bless him, Ruben really went for it trying to move me, even by grabbing me to get me to move but this lady wasn't for moving! 

The next exercise was where Ruben had to berate me and then try to create some pity as his boss would soon be firing him if I didn't move. Again, all efforts were thwarted. Another scenario was created with Juan now sitting on the floor begging and I was to get upset as the passerbys were giving him all of the money so I had to get him to move without  leaving my spot. By this time, I was a totally unreasonable homeless person who depended on this money to live on so I managed to create a negative atmosphere so that he was the one that felt bad and had to move on. 

Afterwards he said that he would do the same again but this time he would go further along the pavement (Pavement? You can see how we were getting in to this) and pick up his young son who was also begging. I had to look slightly guilty but  not for long as I was up and in his place. After all, didn't he get more money in that spot?!

Next, Juan laid on the floor, faking death and I had to pretend that this was my closest friend who had now died so lots of  tears and sobbing whilst being comforted by Ruben. 

Juan seemed very pleased and again checked availability for October. Will I get the part? Who knows what goes on sometimes in the Casting Directors mind. Still, it was fun and a great experience which will stay with me for quite some time to come I suspect.
Next Please!

Part 2 of The Audition Trilogy.

Audition Two
So, having completed the previous audition (see other blog) it was on to the next one but before that I had a bit of time to spare so I headed off to Oxford Street to BHS - they do a mean prawn sandwich there - plus I needed to do something about my appearance so that I didn't look like the Hairdresser from the earlier audition.  Once I had eaten I headed for the ladies and proceeded to change my look. I shook my hair down from its 'up do' combed it through, paled the make up and took off my jewellery and replaced it with new options. The cleaner in the toilets had clearly never seen anybody do this before and spent the entire  time watching me without saying a word. When in this situation it is often a good thing to appear very confident, as if you would do this on a normal day, every day. Maybe she was a little worried in case I was to strip off but I didn't have a change of clothes with me so no doubt she was quite relived when she realised that I had finished and wasn't going to change. 

I made my way to Bond Street Tube to catch the train to Green Park. The Jubilee line wasn't working...Back to Oxford Circus to catch the train for Earls Court.

I had with me my trusty map showing me the pedestrian route from the station to my destination or so I thought. Having read the 'South East" direction I proceeded to walk in that direction. After ten minutes I was greatly relieved to find one of those street maps, you know the kind, they are usually found in town on various corners with a very helpful 'You are here' arrow. Having looked at the map I realised that I was nowhere near where I needed to be and in fact, should have proceeded Eastwards. I retraced my steps down the very long road back to the station and started again. I had plenty of time and so I wasn't worried at all but by now my feet were beginning to hurt. Eventually, I found the road I needed to be in. A select number of shops occupied the road and as I walked along I began to doubt the validity of the Google Map. However, in the distance I spied a restaurant with outside tables covered in white lined cloths. Could this be the place? Indeed it was and I walked on with renewed vigour to find the nearest coffee place. This time I had not been given anything to learn and hadn't even seen a script so although part of me was a little anxious at the prospect of going to an audition with no clues as to what the script was about, I began to relax as at least I didn't have to worry about learning any lines to gain the part. My audition time was 4.45pm and feeling refreshed after a sit down,   I set  off to the restaurant. It felt very odd going into a restaurant ( especially as this was more than posh) and a kindly waiter showed me to three people sitting outside who were, in his words "something to do with it."

There was a woman with various papers who was ticking people off a list so I introduced myself to her. A man sat across from her who was auditioning to play the husband and a young girl who would be the daughter. I was given several sheets of paper to look at explaining who  the group were that were financing the film . The second sheet was almost a disclaimer but nothing needed signing. Then came the third sheet "And these are your lines. Learn them before you go in." The man sitting next to me said that he had had the script sent to him and therefore didn't need to see any of the papers. The young girl had also had the script. All I'd  had was a text message about the audition! My face must have shown some kind of horror because the man said "Whats the matter - don't you do dialogue then?" Restraining myself from strangling him I explained that this was the first time I had seen the script.
"Well, it's only a few lines - should be easy." He said.
Well yes, usually if you haven't had the day from Hell that I had been through (see previous blog). Now I carry with me a large diary in which I keep records of outstanding payments, pending jobs etc and it is also useful when in need of a spare page. I turned to January which had been very quiet for work and began to write down the part of the script I needed to learn. I find this helps because when learning something in a short space of time, it enables you to circle the most relevant words so even if the script is not exactly said as printed on the page, the person taking the audition knows you have got the measure of it. Fortunately for me Lady Luck must have decided to give me a break and two girls walked up to be signed in. They didn't know each other but both of them were in a hurry as they had to go to work. I volunteered to let them go ahead of me as I didn't need to rush anywhere. This meant that not only did the person doing the signing in think that I was wonderful but gave me extra time to look at the words :)
Finally, I was called in to the restaurant and taken downstairs. This was in total contrast to the other audition. It was a beautiful room, very dimly lit with the table setting laid out for a dozen people. Candles burned away  giving the room a very romantic atmosphere. However, now I couldn't even see the script even if I wanted too, in fact, I could barely make out the two  people who were to audition me! I sat down and we did the necessary pleasantries before talking about the script.

All of a sudden in came one of the waiters  with the news that we would have to move because the party that had booked the room for later had already started to arrive. We were shown into  a brighter room but equally as luxurious:

However, this room had piped music which gradually got louder. I had to refrain from laughing as the situation was getting a little ridiculous with us now having to speak rather loudly. I quickly explained that I had not received the script so I was a little in the dark as to  the character they wanted me to  play. All was quickly explained - it was the role of Mum who was a bit gossipy and who had a daughter who was the love of her life. I laid my diary out before me (well, they had no idea what was in it did they?) and somehow managed to remember all the lines. I actually surprised myself and when asked to repeat the lines manage to do it again. I think this was mainly due to the acting classes I had been going to (still go to ) where scripts are learnt pretty quickly. Anyway, having thanked them for seeing me I wandered off home (no more travel disasters thankfully).
The next day I received a text asking me to take the part and I accepted. Life can be strange at  times but  certainly never boring!

The Audition Trilogy

Occasionally I get asked as to what goes on inside an audition. Last week I was asked to go to three very different auditions so thought I'd explain not only what they're like but also the lead up to them.

Audition One.

I was asked to audition as a hairdresser who was  a bit of a gossip.  The script was emailed to me and there were a few lines that needed to  be learnt.

The audition was at 1pm in Walthamstow and I planned my journey meticulously using both Google Maps and the site for TFL. On top of the time I needed to get to the audition I also planned in some 'Coffee Space' time. This is where, before the audition I find a Starbucks or Cafe Nero or similar (you know the sort of places, the soulless ones where you could actually sit there naked and nobody would notice) and relax, look at the script and go over the character. The script mentioned that the hairdresser wore a uniform of black and white so black trousers were found and a white top put with them complete with jewellery that I thought she would wear.

The day arrived and I decided to leave earlier than planned just to  make sure that I would be on time.  I got into the car, put the Sat Nav on and headed straight into a huge tailback on the M25 where I stayed for over an hour. Now, at that point I wasn't too worried - after all, hadn't I built in extra time on top of my extra time? I had the script next to me so started practising it in different ways to create different characters for the hairdresser. Was she a Cockney? Maybe she was well spoken - it didn't seem evident in the script as to the type of place the hairdressers was. Was she happy or mean and nasty? Anyway, probably much to the amusement of the cars next to me I practised away until I realised another half hour had  gone past and I was nowhere near where I needed to be. I started to check out the Sat Nav and to my amazement (I'd bought it in December but have never fiddled with it) found a Detour button. I did briefly wonder whether if I pressed it the  car would start sprouting wings and we could fly over the M25 much like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Anyway, button dutifully pressed and the route diverted off to an earlier exit which was fine  except for the other five hundred cars that had seemingly pressed the Detour button at the same time....

By this time, the time itself had been ticking away at an alarming speed and  although the  cars were moving it was, to be honest, a little above crawling speed. Now, normally I park in a road about 10  - 15 minutes walk from the station but if I got there after noon I could park much nearer as the restrictions in that area state no parking in the bays between 11 - 12. What should I  do? Risk going to park there or park in a station car park that would be nearer and save me time but would take about six pounds of my money?  In the end I decided to give the station car park a go and turned in to find "Car Park Full." I began to think was it worth the hassle for this audition but not being a quitter I decided to carry on and luckily found one of the places  near to the station. Now, according to TFL I had to take two underground trains then an overground. I seriously began to doubt as to whether I would ever get to this audition at all, never mind on time!  I took out my mobile to check the route with the free app I'd previously downloaded of the tube map, and realised, I had no need to take an overground train at all. Could it be that I could possibly make this audition after all and on time? I arrived at Walthamstow station with minutes to spare to find the entrance(s) exit into a bus station which I hadn't expected as Google Maps hadn't shown it to be so. I figured out that the High Street would be a good place to start from. There was the most fabulous market going on there which, on a normal day, I would have loved to have looked round it but this being no normal day, just meant that instead of a few passerbys there were now throngs of people between me and the place I needed to be. Two policemen were walking hurriedly by and I half ran and half walked to try to catch them up. Eventually I caught up with them and they were very helpful and indicated where I should be which was completely in a different direction. Deep breath and off I went at record speed and realised there was a problem. Although I had the road, I didn't have a building number but the  person that contacted me mentioned  the audition being in a pop up shop. I walked up and down and finally sent a text to the number I'd been given explaining that I was having difficulty locating them. A woman (the Casting Director) suddenly appeared outside a glass fronted building and waved me in. I had made it with one second to spare  and although I had had to forgo my time with my coffee I was very pleased that I had made it at all to be quite honest. However, now I felt very rushed in this sterile shop. The shop was completely glass fronted and inside was a glossy wooden floor which reflected the bright, stark white walls. Not exactly comforting. There was a table, two chairs, a camera and the camera man. No time to sit down so straight in front of the camera to say my name. The camera man then checked his camera and sat down  in a chair so that he could play the salon customer. So, now, not only was I feeling rushed, I was inside an alien environment and  now I had to massage this mans head whilst saying my lines to camera. Fortunately I remembered the lines but the characterisation had gone completely out of the window. We tried another couple of scenarios with me whispering the lines to the camera man ( still on the chair in front of me) and also saying the words in a jokey and then a straight way but I wasn't really feeling the love if you know what I mean. Anyway, I shook their hands, explained that I had been stuck in the traffic on the M25 in a last ditch attempt to win their favour and left as hurriedly as I'd arrived.
Apparently we will all be told tomorrow who has the parts in the script. Let's put it this way, I'm not waiting on tenterhooks for the call!!

The Invisible Audition!

I often get cast as a Business woman for Corporate filming 

- I have no problem with that but just sometimes it would be nice to be seen as someone else so when an advert was placed for an audition for a homeless person for a short film I jumped at the chance to do something a bit different. 

I got up in the morning washed my hair but didn't put a brush or comb anywhere near it. I chose to wear no make-up and clothes that were old and ill fitting plus a scruffy pair of dirty trainers. 

I took the dog out for a walk and it was whilst doing that, that I discovered I had a cloak of invisibility. Nobody noticed me, talked to me or even glimpsed my way. Very odd in our local park where all the dog owners talk to each other. Anyway, dog walked, I got into the car & headed for the station. My Oyster card didn't seem to work at the barrier and normally a uniformed somebody would be straight over to offer assistance. Not on this occasion. Everybody was suddenly busy doing other things. I sorted my card out and got on to the tube. Now, in everyday life, we actually become used to people acknowledging us even if its in a small way such as a quick glance. Nobody looked at me and certainly nobody wanted to sit next to me. Luckily it wasn't rush hour so seating was plentiful for once. I got off the train and left the tube station to try to find where the audition was being held. Usually I would stand there with a map and someone would come up to me and ask if they could help. This would take the form of either a passerby or the newspaper seller or somebody giving away freebies. Not one person approached me. Eventually I found where I needed to go and being very early I looked for the nearby park and went and sat on a bench next to an elderly gentleman. Ordinarily, a conversation would strike up, maybe something about the weather or if not a conversation perhaps a nod or a smile.  Nothing. Even when I reached into my pocket and got out my mobile he didn't even register an interest not even a fleeting look. Just silence. A dog came near to where I was sitting and the owner called it away quite abruptly without a smile yet allowed the animal to approach others. It actually felt very lonely to be this invisible and I realised how I take it for granted that all around people in very many different ways all acknowledge each other in some small way. Admittedly I was looking like a down and out but I was still a person, I  was still a somebody who wanted conversation, even just the odd word or two.
Certainly the next time I see somebody that has lost their home I will say something to them even if it's just "Hello" just so that they know that just for that tiny second they are not invisible that they are recognisable to another human being. I am very grateful for this experience as it has opened my eyes as to my own behaviour. Big Issue? I'll take one here please!