The Audition Trilogy Part 3

I was asked to go to an audition to play a homeless person (please see previous blog for prep for that audition). I arrived at reception, having been sat in a park at the Elephant & Castle for the previous hour, and waited for the receptionist to notice me. He was deep in conversation with another colleague so I waited....and I waited... and I waited. Eventually, I managed to catch his eye as he looked at me in a rather disapproving manner.

"I'm here for  the audition for the Homeless person. I should be on your electronic register."

Having seemingly assured himself that I wasn't in fact, going to be asking for money, or to use their toilet facilities he relaxed and began chatting away about how he was supposed to be on the One Show that night but he had been up-surged by a bunch of tomatoes so had been invited to sit in the audience instead. 

"Of course I told them where to get off but I'm still going though" he said as he flounced off. I stood and waited for his return.

Once back, he checked the electronic register and after quite a while finally found my name. This was probably no mean feat as the  building was huge and no doubt held an army of names for each department with appointments.  Finally, I was checked in and told to take a seat. After a while, a man joined  me with two children aged 5 and 2 (almost 3). They were also waiting to audition although it was only the five year old that would be taking part. Juan, the Casting Director came along and took us up to what can only be described as an abandoned room. There were a few tables in the middle and a few chairs and that was about it. There was no water to be had anywhere and I had forgotten my bottle of water at home and was now needing some rather desperately. We all sat down and introduced ourselves and Juan asked if we would mind playing a game to see the interaction between the child and myself. The idea was that I would hold a box of chocolates and she had to try everything in her power to get them off  me.  That was the first hurdle - this must have been the only child in the world that didn't like  chocolate so she clearly wasn't really bothered as to whether she won them or not. Her dad suggested that we use a bottle of Fruit Shoot (believe you me, I was nearly drooling over it by this stage). I had to hold the bottle and the little girl had to  try to take it whether in  a physical way or by using dialogue. She was very shy so it was difficult to get any reaction at all. Meanwhile the two year old was having a lovely time and practising all her dance stretches on the chair. I decided to run around the room and see if that would help. Clearly the five year old enjoyed this and much laughter was had by all at her trying to grab the bottle from me. We sat back down and Juan asked for availability dates but you could see that he was doubting whether the little girl would be suitable due to her  shyness. He took them back to reception whilst I waited inside the desolate room with nothing to look at but the blank walls. Juan then reappeared  with a young lad called Ruben who was to play either a cleaner or a mime artist. 

Our first exercise: "Felicity take a part of the room and protect it. Ruben will try to move you because you are in his way and he needs you to leave."

I threw my old raincoat on to the floor, sat down, grabbed my bag and began to beg to invisible passerbys. Bless him, Ruben really went for it trying to move me, even by grabbing me to get me to move but this lady wasn't for moving! 

The next exercise was where Ruben had to berate me and then try to create some pity as his boss would soon be firing him if I didn't move. Again, all efforts were thwarted. Another scenario was created with Juan now sitting on the floor begging and I was to get upset as the passerbys were giving him all of the money so I had to get him to move without  leaving my spot. By this time, I was a totally unreasonable homeless person who depended on this money to live on so I managed to create a negative atmosphere so that he was the one that felt bad and had to move on. 

Afterwards he said that he would do the same again but this time he would go further along the pavement (Pavement? You can see how we were getting in to this) and pick up his young son who was also begging. I had to look slightly guilty but  not for long as I was up and in his place. After all, didn't he get more money in that spot?!

Next, Juan laid on the floor, faking death and I had to pretend that this was my closest friend who had now died so lots of  tears and sobbing whilst being comforted by Ruben. 

Juan seemed very pleased and again checked availability for October. Will I get the part? Who knows what goes on sometimes in the Casting Directors mind. Still, it was fun and a great experience which will stay with me for quite some time to come I suspect.
Next Please!