The Audition Trilogy

Occasionally I get asked as to what goes on inside an audition. Last week I was asked to go to three very different auditions so thought I'd explain not only what they're like but also the lead up to them.

Audition One.

I was asked to audition as a hairdresser who was  a bit of a gossip.  The script was emailed to me and there were a few lines that needed to  be learnt.

The audition was at 1pm in Walthamstow and I planned my journey meticulously using both Google Maps and the site for TFL. On top of the time I needed to get to the audition I also planned in some 'Coffee Space' time. This is where, before the audition I find a Starbucks or Cafe Nero or similar (you know the sort of places, the soulless ones where you could actually sit there naked and nobody would notice) and relax, look at the script and go over the character. The script mentioned that the hairdresser wore a uniform of black and white so black trousers were found and a white top put with them complete with jewellery that I thought she would wear.

The day arrived and I decided to leave earlier than planned just to  make sure that I would be on time.  I got into the car, put the Sat Nav on and headed straight into a huge tailback on the M25 where I stayed for over an hour. Now, at that point I wasn't too worried - after all, hadn't I built in extra time on top of my extra time? I had the script next to me so started practising it in different ways to create different characters for the hairdresser. Was she a Cockney? Maybe she was well spoken - it didn't seem evident in the script as to the type of place the hairdressers was. Was she happy or mean and nasty? Anyway, probably much to the amusement of the cars next to me I practised away until I realised another half hour had  gone past and I was nowhere near where I needed to be. I started to check out the Sat Nav and to my amazement (I'd bought it in December but have never fiddled with it) found a Detour button. I did briefly wonder whether if I pressed it the  car would start sprouting wings and we could fly over the M25 much like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Anyway, button dutifully pressed and the route diverted off to an earlier exit which was fine  except for the other five hundred cars that had seemingly pressed the Detour button at the same time....

By this time, the time itself had been ticking away at an alarming speed and  although the  cars were moving it was, to be honest, a little above crawling speed. Now, normally I park in a road about 10  - 15 minutes walk from the station but if I got there after noon I could park much nearer as the restrictions in that area state no parking in the bays between 11 - 12. What should I  do? Risk going to park there or park in a station car park that would be nearer and save me time but would take about six pounds of my money?  In the end I decided to give the station car park a go and turned in to find "Car Park Full." I began to think was it worth the hassle for this audition but not being a quitter I decided to carry on and luckily found one of the places  near to the station. Now, according to TFL I had to take two underground trains then an overground. I seriously began to doubt as to whether I would ever get to this audition at all, never mind on time!  I took out my mobile to check the route with the free app I'd previously downloaded of the tube map, and realised, I had no need to take an overground train at all. Could it be that I could possibly make this audition after all and on time? I arrived at Walthamstow station with minutes to spare to find the entrance(s) exit into a bus station which I hadn't expected as Google Maps hadn't shown it to be so. I figured out that the High Street would be a good place to start from. There was the most fabulous market going on there which, on a normal day, I would have loved to have looked round it but this being no normal day, just meant that instead of a few passerbys there were now throngs of people between me and the place I needed to be. Two policemen were walking hurriedly by and I half ran and half walked to try to catch them up. Eventually I caught up with them and they were very helpful and indicated where I should be which was completely in a different direction. Deep breath and off I went at record speed and realised there was a problem. Although I had the road, I didn't have a building number but the  person that contacted me mentioned  the audition being in a pop up shop. I walked up and down and finally sent a text to the number I'd been given explaining that I was having difficulty locating them. A woman (the Casting Director) suddenly appeared outside a glass fronted building and waved me in. I had made it with one second to spare  and although I had had to forgo my time with my coffee I was very pleased that I had made it at all to be quite honest. However, now I felt very rushed in this sterile shop. The shop was completely glass fronted and inside was a glossy wooden floor which reflected the bright, stark white walls. Not exactly comforting. There was a table, two chairs, a camera and the camera man. No time to sit down so straight in front of the camera to say my name. The camera man then checked his camera and sat down  in a chair so that he could play the salon customer. So, now, not only was I feeling rushed, I was inside an alien environment and  now I had to massage this mans head whilst saying my lines to camera. Fortunately I remembered the lines but the characterisation had gone completely out of the window. We tried another couple of scenarios with me whispering the lines to the camera man ( still on the chair in front of me) and also saying the words in a jokey and then a straight way but I wasn't really feeling the love if you know what I mean. Anyway, I shook their hands, explained that I had been stuck in the traffic on the M25 in a last ditch attempt to win their favour and left as hurriedly as I'd arrived.
Apparently we will all be told tomorrow who has the parts in the script. Let's put it this way, I'm not waiting on tenterhooks for the call!!